December is the month of parties.
There’s the office party. The family get togethers. The neighborhood party.
You know the drill.
In years past, there were lots of times I fretted and fussed about going to my husband’s office party.
Every year it hit my vulnerable points.
First of all, I had to get dressed up in a fancy cocktail dress or formal gown. That alone was enough to have me crying in the mall parking lot weeks before the event.
Showing up at the party, I felt completely self conscious and uncomfortable in a dress I didn’t love. I bought it because it fit, not because it made me feel beautiful or sexy or elegant.
Then there was the small talk.
“So, what do you do?” the successful wife of one of my husband’s colleagues asked.
“Oh, I’m just home with the kids,” I answered, feeling completely embarrassed that I didn’t have more to share.
Do you see what I did there?
I’m just home with the kids. I’m just a stay at home mom.
I diminished myself with my words, and I did it all. the. time. I really didn’t feel my own value because I attached my value to external sources, like my career.
And I didn’t love myself either, so I did anything I could not to draw attention to myself.
Can you relate?
Here’s the thing though. Diminishing what we do or who we are only makes those negative feelings feel worse and feel more true.
Gaining confidence, loving ourselves, and feeling our own value starts with noticing how we’re talking to ourselves and changing the negative chatter to something more positive.
How much more empowering would it have been if my response at the dinner party was, “I spend my days at home with the kids?” Period. End of story.
Your words have power whether you’re speaking them out loud to someone or silently to yourself.
Remove diminishing words from your vocabulary.
I’m just writing a few articles for a local magazine becomes I’m a freelance writer.
I just have a little shop on Etsy becomes I have an Etsy shop.
I’m just letting you know I’m not sure if I can come becomes I’m not sure I can come.
It’s ok to be bold.
Own what you do.
Own who you are.
Notice how often you’re using diminishing language. Correct yourself when you realize you’re doing it.
The more you practice this the more confident you’ll become.
The best place to practice being bold, building confidence, and feeling your own value in a completely safe and loving space is in my FB group, Live Your Legacy Now! Join our amazing community of women! I hope to see you there!