Success is personal and it's defined differently by each of us.
I thought I knew what my definition of success was until last year.
Success in my mind wasn’t so much a list of criteria as it was a look. The criteria were there, but my vision of success was a VERY specific physical look.
Success was tall and thin, not overweight like me.
Success was a pencil skirt, silk blouse, and a coordinating blazer, not jeans and a tshirt. And it sure as hell wasn’t sweatpants and a messy bun like my favorite go-to comfort outfit.
Success was heels with a pointy toe, not flats or cute sandals like my sensible mom shoes.
I’m not sure where I came up with this vision of success, but I’ve had it since I was a young girl. Now, MANY years later, I can see that it’s done nothing but hold me back. I could only allow myself to feel successful IF I met the criteria and looked like this fictitious corporate type woman.
Isn’t it crazy how our minds can create such unrealistic expectations and keep us stuck? Talk about setting myself up for failure and making it almost certain that I feel unsuccessful.
Now I can see how this is a lie and a story I’ve held onto for a long time that no longer serves me. I’m not sure it ever did serve me since there’s no part of this vision that relates to my life, my lifestyle, or my career path!
I work from home, not a corporate office.
I travel for fun, not for work.
I am rarely “seen” each day as opposed to being in the office and being seen by others all day everyday.
Letting go of that vision meant I got to redefine and create a new vision of what success is for me.
As I started to do that, I realized I’d been holding onto certain shoes and clothes in my closet because they represent a part of this old physical image of success. In the past, letting them go felt a little like saying I was giving up on being successful.
Have you ever done that? Are you holding onto things in your closet that no longer serve you because they represent something you want or a time in your life you want to hold onto?
Now, I believe success can be any body shape.
Success can shop at Target or Old Navy.
Success can be jeans and a tshirt, yoga pants and sports bra, messy bun, flats, or tennis shoes.
There’s no one look to success.
I’m comfortable considering myself successful even though I’m overweight and a size 14, even though my “dressed up” would be super casual to the woman I previously envisioned as successful.
Success is a FEELING.
That’s why it’s different for each of us. No one else can tell us if we’ve arrived. It’s not even a destination!
As I’ve done the work around redefining success, I can see I was successful BEFORE I had a business or helped a single client. I had become a wife and a mom and I was traveling the world. As a young girl, that’s all I ever wanted. I achieved it! At the same time, I never let myself FEEL successful because the way I looked didn’t match my vision of success.
I’ve redefined what success looks like in my work.
This is what’s most important to me:
- showing up consistently
- growing my tribe
- creating community
- connecting with people
- continuing with my own personal growth
It’s not about the look or the money. It’s not anything external.
It’s knowing I show up 100% myself and with all the love and encouragement I can give.
I urge you today to consider the vision of success you have for yourself.
Is it holding you back?
Is it based on external criteria that makes you feel like crap if you haven’t met them?
If that’s the case, my friend, it’s time to redefine what success looks like for YOU. Share your new vision with me in my Facebook group, Live Your Legacy NOW.
Let’s get a discussion started!